I've Said My Last Goodbye at Children of the Nations

Today is my last day at Children of the Nations. Wow. It doesn't quite feel real. I have been preparing for this for several weeks and now it's here. It's an interesting thing saying goodbye to something that is so good. Today I have been experiencing an indescribable amount of peace. Sure, on top of the peace I have felt fear, excitement, and sadness. But I know that I am stepping into this next chapter for a reason. Today I made my last deposit, my last phone call, my last email, my last COTN google doc, my last training, my last item on my last to do list, and my last goodbye. My last goodbye was filled with so much gratitude. My last goodbye was to two men that we call "The J Team" or "the construction guys" at our office. These two have been incredible servants from day one, always with a smile. Being a team of women, they have stepped in without being asked on countless occasions, and have always done it so willingly. They have both intensionally taken English classes so that they'd be able to talk with us. They have been such a joy to work with and get to know. They have really become friends. The J team has never asked for anything, and always been so willing and happy to step in and help. Today as I said goodbye, they said "you have given us so much." Wow. Truly humble servants. I gave them christmas cards and chocolates (not nearly enough) and left. And I cried my way home. I don't know if it was saying my last goodbye or saying goodbye to them that did me in. They have, in so many ways, been the backbone and unsung heroes of Children of the Nations and my time as the Area Director here. I truly could not have done it without them.

And so, I have closed up shop, for the holidays and for this amazing almost-5-year season with an incredible ministry that has changed my life forever. It was January 2010 that I began my journey with COTN. I will never be the same. I have travelled the world and shared life with unforgettable people, made hundreds of new friends, and learned incredible lessons on compassion, love, service, ministry, international development, what it means to truly help others, leadership, event planning, partner development, fundraising, The Church, God's provision, my own poverty and riches, grace, and living out love. I know those lessons are not over for me. I am being called deeper into each of those. What that will look like? I have some ideas, options, and some time to figure that out; but, ultimately, it beats me! I am stepping out in faith as I remember stories of Abraham, Moses, Esther, and so many others who have chosen to listen to that still small voice. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of them. Their stories help me to remember that I can act on something that appears foolish to some (leaving a position that looks great on a resume at an organization that has been so wonderful) for something that's actually a little harder (pursuing a passion that I believe God has gifted me with); and as I actively pursue what's in front of me, God will provide a way.

This is the way I came to COTN (stepping into the great unknown), and the way that I am stepping out of the boat.

And so, with tears in my eyes and a song of thanksgiving on my mouth, I step out into the great unknown - excited, anticipating, and a little scared; but full of peace - knowing full well that "you are exactly where you should be. You are doing exactly what you should be doing."

A friend sent me an email today with this verse, and it brought me so much comfort: "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deut. 31:8)

And so here I go! The adventure continues!

My Goodbye Letter to COTN

Dear Friends and Family, 

I have so much to be thankful for and you are at the top of my list. Truly. I am overflowing with gratitude as I write this. I know that I could not be where I am today without the love, support, gifts, prayers, and words of encouragement that you have shown. I am truly blown away at the abundance of blessings that I have experienced these last 4 ½ years at Children of the Nations.

While my heart is full of gratitude, it is with sadness and joy that I let you know that my time at Children of the Nations is coming to a close at the end of this year. I am sad to be leaving COTN because it has been such a wonderful experience and, in a lot of ways, a big family to me. I am leaving on very positive terms and plan to stay connected indefinitely. I love the organization and believe in what they do in raising orphaned and destitute children to transform nations. I have seen it first hand and that will stick with me forever. 

Starting on January 1, 2015 Jackie Barnes will be taking on my current position at Children of the Nations. She is wonderful and I am confident in her abilities to continue to develop what I have been a part of establishing in San Diego. 

My decision to leave COTN came as I have continued to return to the vision that came to me years ago of developing an art program for people in need: providing hope, healing, and life-skills through artisan work. This vision has become clearer and clearer as I have explored options through my time at COTN, being a part of art camps, workshops, trips, and many conversations with my friends internationally and here in the states. I am confident that this is what I am being called to explore, discover, and develop in myself and give back to others. However, in order to do that, I need to gain new skills and experience in the art world. 

And so, I am taking a giant leap of faith right now as I pursue my dream and vision. 

I am in the process of looking for a job in the art and design world while I further develop my art skills. I am also excited to have found an organization in Haiti called “The Apparent Project” which provides artisan jobs so that parents can keep their children out of orphanages. I am blessed and excited that my sister, Lauren, has a very similar vision to mine: to provide hope, healing, and life-skills through artisan work. So we will be going to Haiti together January 20-24, 2015 (stay tuned for more info)!! We don’t know what God has in store for us in this adventure, but we know that we want to explore and turn over as many stones as we can. 

Please pray for me as I explore the options in front of me: what jobs and opportunities to take, who to connect with, and even what city I will live in. I am excited to see how things take shape as I get closer to 2015. If you have any connections that you think would be a good fit, I am open to exploring all options. 

To continue giving to the wonderful ministry of Children of the Nations, please consider sponsoring a child, I have many friends (children) in need of sponsors like you: www.cotni.org/children

Thank you again for a being on this journey with me with Children of the Nations. It has been an incredible experience that I will always treasure. The journey is not over! Adventure awaits! 

His,
Amber